Poetry
November 24th, 2006
These are some humorous poems by a poet named Kenn Nesbitt.
Why don’t you try writing a few yourselves?
I Have to Write a Poem
I have to write a poem
but I really don’t know how.
So maybe I’ll just make a rhyme
with something dumb, like “cow.”
Okay, I’ll write about a cow,
but that’s so commonplace.
I think I’ll have to make her be…
a cow from outer space!
My cow will need a helmet
and a space suit and a ship.
Of course, she’ll keep a blaster
in the holster on her hip.
She’ll hurtle through the galaxy
on meteoric flights
to battle monkey aliens
in huge karate fights.
She’ll duel with laser sabers
while avoiding lava spray
to vanquish evil emperors
and always save the day.
I hope the teacher likes my tale,
“Amazing Astro Cow.”
Yes, that’s the poem I will write
as soon as I learn how.
–Kenn Nesbitt
My Dog Ate My Homework
My dog ate my homework.
That mischievous pup
got hold of my homework
and gobbled it up.
My dog ate my homework.
It’s gonna be late.
I guess that the teacher
will just have to wait.
My dog ate my homework.
He swallowed it whole.
I shouldn’t have mixed it
with food in his bowl.
–Kenn Nesbitt
The Tiger and the Zebra
The tiger phoned the zebra
and invited him to dine.
He said “If you could join me
that would simply be devine.”
The zebra said “I thank you,
but respectfully decline.
I heard you ate the antelope;
he was a friend of mine.”
On hearing this the tiger cried
“I must admit it’s true!
I also ate the buffalo,
the llama and the gnu.
And yes I ate the warthog,
the gazelle and kangaroo,
but I could never eat a creature
beautiful as you.
“You see I have a secret
I’m embarrassed to confide:
I look on you with envy
and a modicum of pride.
Of all the creatures ever known,”
the tiger gently sighed,
“It seems we are the only two
with such a stripy hide.
“Now seeing how we share this
strong resemblance of the skin,
I only can conclude that we are
just as close as kin.
This means you are my brother
and, though fearsome I have been,
I could not eat my brother,
that would surely be a sin.”
The zebra thought, and then replied
“I’m certain you are right.
The stripy coats we both possess
are such a handsome sight!
My brother, will you let me
reconsider if I might?
My calendar is empty so
please let us dine tonight.”
The tiger met the zebra in
his brand-new fancy car
and drove him to a restaurant
which wasn’t very far.
And when they both were seated
at a table near the bar,
the zebra asked “What’s on the grill?”
The tiger said “You are.”
“But please, you cannot dine on me!”
the outraged zebra cried.
“To cook me up and eat me
is a thing I can’t abide.
You asked me for your trust
and I unwarily complied.
You said you could not eat me
now you plan to have me fried?”
“And what about the envy
and the modicum of pride?
And what of us as brothers
since we share a stripy hide?”
“I’m sorry,” said the tiger
and he smiled as he replied,
“but I love the taste of zebra
so, in other words, I lied.”
–Kenn Nesbitt
Frank, the Frog Collector
I’m Frank, the frog collector,
and I’m happy to report
my collection’s nearly finished;
I have frogs of every sort.
I record them in my journal
so that every single frog
is accounted for completely
with an entry in my log.
I have hundreds, maybe thousands
of amphibians at home.
I have frogs of quilted fabric.
I have frogs of gleaming chrome.
I have frogs of painted porcelain,
and frogs of brass and tin.
I have frogs you open up
to find another frog within.
There are small magnetic tree frogs
clinging gently to the fridge
and Louisiana bullfrogs
on a plastic bayou bridge.
I have frogs on ancient bicycles
with shiny silver bells.
I have frogs proposing marriage
to their froggy mademoiselles.
You’ll see frogs ascending ladders.
You’ll see frogs descending stairs,
yes, and frogs reclining dreamily
in comfy leather chairs.
I have frogs with pink umbrellas.
I have frogs engrossed in books.
Even frogs that dangle fishing poles
in nonexistant brooks.
My abode is filled with frogs
from top to bottom, front to back.
There are frogs in every corner,
every crevice, every crack.
There is only one that’s missing;
just one blank space in my log.
So I’m begging, mom and dad,
can I please have a REAL frog?
–Kenn Nesbitt
My Elephant Thinks I’m Wonderful
My elephant thinks I’m wonderful.
My elephant thinks I’m cool.
My elephant hangs around with me
and follows me into school.
My elephant likes the way I look.
He thinks that I’m fun and smart.
He thinks that I’m kind and generous
and have a terrific heart.
My elephant thinks I’m brave and bold.
He’s proud of my strength and guts.
But mostly he likes the way I smell.
My elephant thinks I’m nuts.
–Kenn Nesbitt
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See also:
- Any QUESTIONS??? (August 14th, 2007)
- Pictures speak a 1000 words (July 28th, 2007)
- All Summer in A Day – Venus (June 6th, 2007)
- IDIOMS are EVERYWHERE! (April 10th, 2007)
- What A Tangled Web We Weave (March 18th, 2007)
November 26th, 2006 at 8:43 am
such funny and interesting poems, mr Grosse, the autuor’s name sure sounds familiar
November 26th, 2006 at 10:53 pm
I like to read this guy’s poems
November 29th, 2006 at 1:06 am
This guy is some crazy fellow! (although I like his peoms)
November 30th, 2006 at 10:39 am
Here’s another:
Sneaking around,
is what I can do,
even when I’m down,
I can show you around,
there is so much to do,
espionage work,
makes me quirk.
I’m undercover,
nobody knows who I am,
because I never leave a trace,
for you to face,
but just for you dear reader,
I’ll risk my cover being blown,
and my identity known,
I’ll sign off.
I$@@(
November 30th, 2006 at 10:47 am
This is fun writing poems! Its bumpy at the begining, but once you get used to it, you will be able to match a rhyming phrase almost immediately. that happened to me for the last few lines.
By the way, for the symbols in my name,
the same symbols are the same.
letters I mean
same letters
I$@@(
November 30th, 2006 at 10:50 am
I wonder who’s Agent I,
He seems quite sly.
December 2nd, 2006 at 10:08 am
Nice poem I created about myself
December 2nd, 2006 at 10:09 am
Who is Agent I?
December 4th, 2006 at 2:17 am
Arrg!
Why is Agent I?
*(!&*(&#^&*%^$&&@*(&())(*#(&_{>:”#(*()#>O@#_#U*(U()@*(@&*~(&*(&@*(&^#(&()$&())#{:”>#(&#*(*#(*@)(&*#&(&*)(*#(^&$*(&)($_$:$>:$>”${()$*)*#)&*@(&^@*#)*()&$*(&$*(&$*($:$>”$>”#*(@&@*()#*)&#**#()($)&$)$&*$$>:”$>”:$>:”$”:$>$)(&$(*^@&^%^@%^@$@%^&$()_)$)+_+_%+_%%”%:{%}{%_%_0-0-0-0-0-%”:%”:%%”:%”:%OP*$(&%(%^&*#%&^%&^^$*(&^)*)_^*^+^_)^^{}?^}”>?^}”:^>”
^>}%^:}{|^_+$)($)&#(^#RPO_L$)_)_$*$)*)(%&8978974895738967389579&*(*(&894789&*($&*(&*$*()&$&*$
93840-1923-34556
98832-0124-87430
(The above is just plain nonsence. U do not have to understand it. Thank You. I just simply typed them to make me even more confused about Agent I. Please, I am not Agent I myself.)
December 4th, 2006 at 2:22 am
What is I$@@(?
Is it I4229?
Who’s I4229?
This is getting fishy.
December 4th, 2006 at 2:24 am
Arrg!
I still do not get who is Agent I or I$@@(.
December 8th, 2006 at 6:58 am
you … I$@@( => ISAAC
sighhs .
December 8th, 2006 at 10:42 am
Clever right, just by sheer luck that I can do that!
Cass: you will make a good detective for easy mysteries, you may need some help,
Jek Kai, you cannot do as a detective for both.
Somemore, I left a clear mark.
December 11th, 2006 at 5:14 am
isaac, that was plain LAME. anyone would have been able to figure that out. and use your real name ur not FBI or CIA. and anyone can make that sort of l33t stuff. anyway i like the last one about the elephant and nuts. hahaha. but why won’t the elephant eat the crazy nut already lol. and i thought elephants prefer peanuts. when will mr grosse be back?
December 17th, 2006 at 10:38 pm
i like all the poems, especially ‘The Tiger and the Zebra’. That one was the funniest.
January 3rd, 2007 at 5:29 am
ISAAC, YOU TRICKED ME AGAIN!!!
January 6th, 2007 at 9:35 am
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA JEK KAI!
January 9th, 2007 at 6:02 am
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG!
I’m feeling better orelready
January 21st, 2007 at 9:51 pm
HEHE- i know im clever and jekkee isn’t WAHAHAHAHAH .
(@$$@|\|dR@
SO EASY LAH. lame people.
January 21st, 2007 at 10:02 pm
The tiger and zebra one is very interesting -
i’ll try :
im a striped zebra
who married a llama
x) 2 rhyming sentences YAY
i almost died of a stick
my dear llama picked
x) another 2
She plucked it out of a porcupine
and made me choke and whine
x) YAY ME
i galloped off to the zebra doc
and brushed off the frog
i told to get off my bad
and stop talking mad
I almost died when i got there
of furiousness, hotheadedness and blare
January 21st, 2007 at 10:03 pm
WOW- ok isaac`s one is much better.
the llama is stupid =x
January 22nd, 2007 at 8:38 am
‘Cass: you will make a good detective for easy mysteries, you may need some help,’
I dont really understand what you mean by writing this sentence, Isaac. Firstly the whole I$@@( thing was awufully lame.
secondly, you tell Cass she would make a good detective for easy mysteries….
and THEN you tell her she needs some help!
Maybe you’re telling cass instead: you ould make a good detective,but for easy mysteries you would need some help????
HELP! I am terrorized by a weird sentence!
I love the poems, which are incredibly humorous and fun to play with.
January 23rd, 2007 at 8:15 am
Yah! I’m feeling happy!
(@$$@|\|dR@ = Cassandra! Yah!
Does that make me a good detechtive?
Wads your say, Newton? I’m a good detective? Hahahaha!
February 5th, 2007 at 6:40 am
Cass, did you get that llama thing from somewhere or did you invented it yourself???
February 11th, 2007 at 7:45 am
this guy is good! i like most of his poems especially ‘my dog ate my homework’
February 19th, 2007 at 4:54 am
NO, JEK KAI, SHE POSTED THAT UNDER HER REAL NAME LAME-O!!!!!!!!!!!!
