Write Right Rites
A page to explore ideas, processes and reosurces in writing
MINI SAGAS
A mini-saga is a story that has exactly 50 words (not 49, and not 51!).
How to write a mini-saga
A mini-saga is a story which has exactly 50 words. Here is one way that you could write a mini-saga.
1. Start by thinking of a story that you have written or would like to write, or think of a well-known story, or something that you have read.
2. Get a written version of the story – write it down, or print it off the Internet.
3. Shorten your story. Take out any words that are not absolutely necessary. How many words are there?
4. Now shorten your story again. How many words are there? At this point you may need to change words or sentences to make exactly 50 words.
An example of writing a mini-sagaStart with the story:
The Cobbler – First Draft (233 words)
Once upon a time there was a man named Roddy Biggs, who was a bank robber. One day he took a pair of shoes to a cobbler to get new soles put on them. The cobbler gave him a ticket, which he put in his pocket. The next day Roddy was arrested by the police for a bank robbery he had committed the week before.
Time passed slowly and 20 years later Roddy was released from gaol. As he was walking away form the prison, he put his hand in his jacket pocket, and found a piece of paper. Pulling it out, he saw the cobbler’s ticket and remembered taking his shoes there all those years ago.
“Why not?” he thought, and went off to see if, just by chance, the cobbler was there and still had his shoes. When he got to the address on the ticket he saw, sandwiched between a supermarket and a multi-storey car park, the cobbler’s shop. He went in and found an ancient man working in the dark little room. He gave him the ticket. The old man examined the ticket closely and then took down a huge ledger from the shelf. Blowing of the dust, he opened it and ran a shaking finger down the columns of names and dates inside. His finger stopped at an entry. Looking up, he said, “They’ll be ready next week!”
Take out words you don’t need:
The Cobbler – Second Draft (100 words)
A man named Roddy Biggs took a pair of shoes to a cobbler. The cobbler gave him a ticket, which he put in his pocket. Next day Roddy was arrested for a bank robbery. He was sent to gaol.
Twenty years later Roddy was released from gaol. He put his hand in his pocket, and found the ticket.
He went to see if the cobbler still had his shoes. When he got to the address he went in and found an ancient man. He gave him the ticket. The old man examined the ticket and said, “They’ll be ready next week!”
Take out words you don’t need, and change some words to leave exactly 50 words:
The Cobbler – Final Draft: the mini-saga (50 words)
A man took his shoes to a cobbler. Next day he was arrested and sent to prison for robbery. Twenty years later he was released, found the cobbler’s ticket and, just in case, took it to the cobbler’s shop. Examining it closely, the old man said, “Come back next week”.
You do not have to follow this method!
Here are some exampes below.
Write a few of your won though the comment boxes.
Four friends went on a journey. After walking they found a place to rest and eat. Each said they would do something. One said “I’ve prepared a meal”. Another said “I’ll start a fire”. The third said “I’ll build a shelter”, while the fourth said “I am ready to eat”.
“I don’t like robots,” I said to my new boss after a cup of coffee. “I hate them, I don’t like working with cold machines.”
“Perhaps you really should try to open your mind.” My boss put down his cup and opened his body, then put two new batteries inside.
One day a man was counting the storeys of a building.
A woman said “Anyone who counts here is punished. How many floors have you counted?”
The man answered “Thirty”.
“30 Yuan please,” the woman said.
The man gave her 30 Yuan and thought “You fool, I counted 50 floors”.
I met a man,
He was the best.
But then he left,
I was depressed.
All I have now
Are memories.
So I can
Think of him at least.
If only I could rule the world!
Then I would never let him go.
But he is gone,
I am alone.
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GREAT OPENINGS
Read through this extract and :
a) Comment on what you have read
b) Write your own great brginnings through the reply boxes.
Extracted and adapted from “Great Openings¡” by Nigel Hinton
I’ve been thinking a lot about opening sentences recently. The book I’m writing at the moment started because one day this whole sentence came into my head – “I’ve never told this story to anyone because when I was 11 I swore an oath in blood never to tell it.” I liked the sentence – it intrigued me and it posed all sorts of questions: what happened when this person was 11? Who did he swear the oath with? Why can he tell it now? From that one opening sentence I kept asking questions and coming up with answers. I have now written 75,000 words of a book!
Opening sentences have been important for me since my first book – I wrote that book for a Year 9 class I was teaching. I’d told them I could write something good and I wanted to prove I could. So I wanted to grab them from the very first line. The book was ‘Collision Course’ – have a look at what I wrote. It worked – my class wanted to know what the dare was. They wanted me to go on reading. I’d got them hooked.
Since then I’ve always tried to do the same thing: grab my reader from the first line. You’ve got a list of some of my opening sentences – so you can see how I’ve tried to do that.
Now it’s your turn.
What you’re aiming for:
Something to fire the imagination of reader. Make the reader want to know what happens next – something that pulls them into the story. Makes them ask questions – who is this, what’s happening, what’s going to happen?
Not really looking for scene setting or establishing character – that comes later. It’s about grabbing the reader – a bit like saying to your best mate – “hey – you’ll never guess what happened to me last night.” They’re bound to say “what???”
Dramatic openings should try and put you right in the middle of things.
One of the best opening sentences I know is from George Orwell’s book ‘1984′:”it was a bright cold day in April and the clocks were striking 13.”
There’s a great balance to that sentence – the first half seems ordinary and reassuring and then, bang, he hits you with the twist. Clocks striking 13 – what kind of world is this?
So how about trying to come up with a killer opening sentence for a one of these stories? (if you want, you can make it more than one sentence – a killer opening two sentences or short paragraph):
a murder story- from the point of view of the detective investigating, or from the murderer’s eyes fantasy story for young kids – involving witches, or wizards or trolls or dragons.
love story – people meeting and falling in/out of love horror/ghost story – an empty building or dark woods. Someone alone.
family drama – some big event that’s going to tear a family apart – a secret or an accident or an arrival. science fiction – set in space or in a future that we can hardly recognise.
Good luck! I’m looking forward to reading what you come up with. I warn you, though – if there’s something really good I might pinch it for my next book!!!!!
Alice
I was stuck in the cupboard gasping for breath. I could hear them arguing in the kitchen, dishes being smashed against the door.
Nigel Hinton
This is good and dramatic.
Alice
As I was walking home I could see a bright light coming from the end of the lane. It was blinding. They’d come to see me again, the fairies.
Nigel Hinton
I like this, Alice, but I think you should have held back the information that the light came from ‘fairies’ until later in the story. The opening two sentences are intriguing then you give things away too quickly.
Nick
Suspense
Why? Why did it happen to me? That day? That year?
Nigel Hinton
Nick – like the suspense suggestion. Questions are always a good way of getting the reader involved.
Mark’n'Tom
Science Fiction.
There we were floating in space. No one to help us. Then it happened.
Science Fiction
The shadow of the ship covered us, it oozed green slime, almost life-like
Spy fiction
The figure sprinted in the opposite direction, he seemed to turn toward an ally. I raced to pursue. Nothing only a solid brick wall.
Nigel Hinton
Mark and Tom – a great creative team. The Sci Fi stuff is terrific. Great rhythm in the sentences and ace ideas. I love the end of the Detective one – the blank wall. What’s happened? Exactly what you want the reader to feel.
Roland Young
Crime Friction
The inventors of ‘Supagrip’ may not have anticipated the use to which I would put their product.
Nigel Hinton
Roland – I laughed out loud sitting here alone at my desk. A brilliant start.
Sarah Lowman
Fantasy
As I walked through the field of poppies I felt drowsy, and I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw a dozen or so small fairies dancing among the flowers.
Nigel Hinton
Sara L – a good start for the fantasy idea. Sets the mood and is intruiging. Like the idea that the vision might be caused by the druggy poppies.
Nick
Crime Fiction
The blood, it was everywhere, blood, the smell of death, the eeryness of the room!
Nigel Hinton
Nick – blood is always an attention grabber then when you add the smell of death – irresistible. You’ve got it, mate!
Sam Wass
Crime fiction
Sam slipped into the apartment, the necklace dangling from his pocket.
Horror
It was clear night, the moon was shining through the trees but what was that moving in the clearing.
Nigel Hinton
Hold on a minute – am I dealing with professionals here??? Sam – a really terrific start to a detective story. This stuff is guaranteed to make people read on.
Sarah Lowman
Horror
I was alone in the house, my parents were out but there was this strange creaking sound coming from the cellar
Fantasy
I was playing in the garden. It was all tranquil and calm, but I knew something was watching me. Then from the corner of my eye I saw it.
Nigel Hinton
Sarah – I like both of them but think I prefer the Fantasy. I like that balance you get – everything’s OK but… I’d read on for sure!
David Tree
Horror 1
I felt the pain as the blood gushed out of my fearful heart.
Horror 2
The dagger of doom was raised above my head and the fear came dribbling. Pain rolled down my face.
Horror3
The dark and spooky building made my skin stand up on end and the shivers went down my spine.
Nigel Hinton
David – you instantly get the reader in the mood for the thrills and blood to come! Terrific
Extracted and adapted from ¡°Great Openings¡± by Nigel Hinton
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